LAZY REPORTER (for any online magazine):

yo! what’s up Pahtnuh?!

STUPID MUSIC ARTIST (for any run-o-the mill label):

shhhhhhhhh, jus’ chillin.

What up Son?

L.R.

so how are things up there?

S.M.A.

shhhhhhhhh, its cold up here.

Know what I’m saying!

L.R.

word!

So what’s up with the album?

S.M.A.

whatdya wanna know?

I mean, yeah: I’m back in the studio.

L.R.

well, word on the street is that you dropping a new project in the Fall.

Its gon’ be the lick …I heard!

S.M.A.

u know dat!

I’m jus’ chillin trying to make sum’n happin wit dis legal crack hustle.

na’Imean?

dis is our year, nigga!

We run dis!

L.R.

so when’s the album drop?

S.M.A.

shhhhhhhh, maybe next week.

Maybe next month: we aint rushin’. We jus gon’ see what these white folks at the label gon’ do. Na’Imean?

L.R.

word.

So what’s up wit this beef I’m hearing between you and Stanky Legs?

I hear he’s saying he snatched yo’ chain …and he got the YouTube video to prove it.

S.M.A.

that’s a lie!

That nigga got one mo’ time to mention my name ---and then its ova!

I’m from the Southside …we don’t play dat ish!

L.R.

ok, so again: let’s talk about the album. Tell me who u got on it? I hear you got guests appearances by errrryone in the game.

S.M.A.

naw, f** dat! Let’s talk about dat nigga crappy feet …crutch leg …stanky legs, or whateva he calling himself these days! I wanna know why dis bama keeps popping off bout me?

I’ll give you a story!

Let’s talk about dis chick’s last 3 albums!

None of his projects comes close to even reaching my status …yet ya’ll wanna keep bringing up his name.

Why?

I’m the one dat sold out the Hole in the Wall nightclub!

Not him!

I’m getting airplay on 3 stations now!

He can’t even get a spin in the club.

He ain’t respected by no one!

No one!

L.R.

okay, point taken, so can we discuss the album?

S.M.A.

hell nawwww.

It ain’t gon’ be no more talk bout the album.

We talking bout dis chump Stanky Legs …or this interview is done!

You know what?

I’M OUT!

I wanna finish my blunt!

EDITOR’S NOTE

If you are tired of immature writing from so-called “reporters” and equally mundane responses from non-responsive “artists” who only know how to do Q&A, then have no fear! Rap & Rock is here!

Rap & Rock engages in conscious reporting and writing that appeals to the astute, discerning reader. Our writing is devoid of profane speech and connotation. We make every attempt to give you articles that answer your questions while also being engaging enough to hold your attention. Soooo, enjoy the ride; and as always: ROCK on!